I am the weird alien rainbow sheep in my family. I drew this with a bit of collage back in 2017. Last I saw of it was on the wall of a collective house I used to live in, displayed along with other former and current resident artworks. I crafted it before I started going by the name Paxen, so it has my old signature form. Around the time I made it, I tried dimethyltryptamine (DMT) on two different occasions, and was having bizarre astral visions of my “alien” self -or what some refer to as my “star seed” -despite that being a somewhat misunderstood term.

There are layers to both our physical and our aural body, and DMT is a natural chemical that we excrete in our brains when we are born and when we die. When we take an alchemized version of DMT outside of our own excrete, via lab-made crystals or through Mimosa Root Tree Bark ceremonies led by indigenous people (there are other natural plant derivatives as well), a brief, deeply calming, but very intense visual experience occurs. A DMT “tryp” lasts about 10 minutes compared to other psychotropics that always tend to last longer (1 hour to several hours). This is why “the veil is thin” during Samhain; the plants are dying into their own DMT transformations.

Admittedly, the alien on the left does not resemble what I experienced exactly- I’m no Alex Grey in my prose, his work more closely resembles what people see while on DMT. My astral body’s skin actually looked translucently indigo and sky-blue colored (gradient like a tan), my melanin constellations (my freckles) were white, but accurate to the image, my head/body was much larger/taller, I could see from about 4 feet above my physical head via my aura. I also saw colors and shapes that I never saw before, as the seemingly chaotic field of grass blades on the ground turned into a perfectly symmetrical landscape.

Each blade belonged to a network-patch of grass- the aural projection of each seed (the form prior to being grown blades) shown through a cosigned epigenetic format; influenced by the other seeds that surrounded it, as if an unseen mycelium aided them into those perfect patches that geometrically aligned with the other patches around them. Some say it looks like a simulation, because computer generated worlds do look similar in their base form. The algorithm of the planet and my place it in further clarified in those moments, while a more instinctual part of my mind was somewhat fearful and confused by the after affects- which is why people say you should do it in guided meditation sessions (which I did not).

The first time I did it, I tried to be as ceremonial as I could. I went to the top of Green Mountain, which is west of Denver in Lakewood, on Dec. 31st, 2016. I was going to a Nahko & Medicine for the People show that night to celebrate New Years, so it was a special occasion- I sought to set intentions for my life goals. I sat down with books that’s info I wanted to infuse into my tryp. I lit a pipe with cannabis and DMT crystals on top and “blasted off” (the popular term for DMT use). Looking deeper, the best message I obtained was that I must re-invent myself if I am to aid in planetary recovery, and I must be humble to acknowledge the mistakes I’ve made in my past, as part of the instruct seed for the rejuvenation that will coexist with the scars.

There are many studies that have been proving that psychedelics can improve mental health, including an end to issues of addiction to more harsh substances, and for clarifying motivation in life. It has in my own experience. There are plenty of free documentaries on the subject that further explains their influence. Traumas tend to occur in intense bursts of anger, sadness, or disease. Psychotropics tend to approach the brain in a similar but opposite way via intense bursts of psycho-creative experience and re-organizing. I know that if I envision myself as alien, perhaps I will learn to comprehend why others could see me that way too, depending on what “plan-it” we are on.